random thoughts

my random thoughts are funny to me because in almost all instances, they are actually said out loud... to my dogs.

wait, so i *am* an introvert
throughout my childhood i was a great talker. i would talk to anyone. and adults didn't phase me in the least. 
they all told me what an extrovert i was.
thing was (still is) i never felt like an extrovert.
i talked to people as a means to an end. to gain insight, glean information, get opinions...
but i never *loved* talking to people or having attention focused on me. 
(i wanted them to listen to, to really hear what it was i was saying... or, rather, what i meant to or wanted to say. but i didn't want the focus to be me.)
and though, still, i can be great with people, and i like them, generally speaking, i tend to feel utterly and completely drained after i have been interacting for more than a few minutes.
and the longer i interact, the more aimless my side of the conversation and the more difficult it is for me to extract myself from said conversation.
honestly, i think that social interaction with me must cause some sort of pain in others.
if only on an empathetic level.
(i mean, if given the perfect situation, the perfect conditions, i could, potentially, sit and converse for hours with the right person or group of people, but those conditions are seldom found.)
and the more i consider it the more i find that i am actually an introvert.
i am not shy. but i am not an extrovert.
but to my three dogs, i can find what i struggle to say to people in the flesh.
they don't judge. (okay, sometimes it feels like they do, but i know, i hope they are not.)
they are my sounding boards. and those three dunderheads are the best damn sounding boards a girl could have.

today's random thought:
i don't want to go to the store.
sure i have nothing left to eat, but the store has people.
and i am likely to run into somebody i know.
and then i'd have to interact with them.
and i don't wanna talk to them.
maybe i can wake up earlier and go tomorrow before real people get there.

yep.
i am avoiding going shopping for things i need because people.
because i just don't want to have to interact with anyone.
is that completely pathetic?
or has anyone else ever felt that way?
ah well.
invisible girl, so, y'know, no one actually reads this.
(except you posters of spam - do you guys have anything to say about this?)